Welcome to Fortunate and Unfortunate Events! This blog outlines some of the hardships and adventures throughout the life of a teenage girl.
Welcome to Fortunate and Unfortunate Events! This blog outlines some of the hardships and adventures throughout the life of a teenage girl.
Acne is a hard thing to get rid of. It can sneak up on you when you wake up in the morning, and it’s hard to maintain it. Acne can cause us to feel insecure about ourselves, thinking people are talking to that part of your face and not you. It can be hard to look into the mirror sometimes, the acne is the only thing you see. Some days the acne seems worse than other days. You try your hardest to cover it up with makeup. Personally, I have had to deal with acne for many years. I am still dealing with it now. I have always felt insecure about the acne on my face, I have tried to hide it with cover-up, some days it works, other days it doesn’t.
Here are some tips I have used to control my acne:
It can be hard for us to find someone we can learn from and look up to. As teens, we look up to the adults around us, and they might not always be the best influence. We can look up to famous celebrities, but then one day they get arrested for drug possession, or assault. Bad role models can lead you to doing something that can get you into a lot of trouble. Role models are people we think embody all the good things in the world. They have the life we want to have one day, and all the traits we would like to develop.
Positive role models can influence us to have a good model of living, and getting to the point we want to be in our lives. For example, if you want to be a singer, looking up to a successful singer can influence you to see that this can be accomplished, and shows you how it can be done. Positive role models can convince you to keep going to accomplice your goals.
Sometimes having a role model can be a bad thing. You can get obsessed with this person so much that you can change your clothes and hair cut. This can result in you losing your sense of identity and self. There are also times where your role model can let you down. It’s not uncommon to see people get arrested for drug possession. We need to be careful not to unfairly compare ourselves to our heroes. Looking up to people should give us confidence and motivation to accomplish our goals. Role models weren’t born role models, they worked hard to get to where they are today, this should motivate us to see that if we want to be as successful as our heroes, we need to work as hard as they did.
One of my heroes is April “AJ Lee” Mendez Brooks. AJ was born in New Jersey and is an American Professional Wrestler who started wrestling in 2009. She retired in 2015. Though she was successful as an adult, during childhood she had a hard life. She had to work many part-time jobs to support her family and to pay for wrestling school. In 2012 she rose to great heights in the WWE. Though she hard a hard time growing up, she worked so hard to get where she is today. She is one of my role models because she proved that if you work really hard, yo can accomplish any goals have.
My questions to you guys is Who is you Hero? Is there someone you look up to that you want to be like?
Social Media is the collective online communications channels dedicated to community-based input, interaction, content-sharing and collaboration. Apps like Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr have taken over the lives of the majority of the adolescence. There are many positive affects of having social media. It can help us stay in touch with our friends, we can share messages and pictures with people, we can stay connected with what is happening in the world. However, there are also negative affects that come with social media. It can be wrongly used to hurt someone, or we can lose touch on the real world beyond our phone or computer screens.
Here are some positive and negative effects of social media.
I personally think that social media is a great resource for teens. I benefit from it, just as every other girl does. You can express who you are, what you like. It is a great way for us to be connected to each other, along with things happening in the world.
However, I think that at some point we have all misused social media sites. We may have posted a comment on someone’s Instagram post that could have been taken the wrong way, or was a mean thing to say but we never actually meant what we said.We need to remember that we need to respect everyone, because we are all a community. Human dignity can only be realized and protected in the context of relationships with the wider society. We need to treat everyone the way we want to be treated. We need to recognize that how we create a society directly affects humanity and the capacity of persons to grow in community.
As Pete Cashmere said, “Privacy is dead, and social media holds the smoking gun.” Once something is on the internet it stays there forever. Even if we delete that post or comment, someone somewhere has seen it.
The great thing about social media sites is that you have the opportunity to put your accounts on “private.” This allows you to see who wants to follow your account and view your posts. Then you can make the decision as to whether or not you are comfortable with this person looking at your posts and pictures.
Social media sites are a great resource. We just need to make sure we are using them the right way. Erik Qualman is a motivational speaker who said, ““We don’t have a choice on whether we do social media, the question is how well we do it.”
Your peers influence your life. Spending time with people allows you to be influenced by them, and them by you. It’s human nature to listen and learn from people in your age group.
You can be influenced by your peers in a positive way. For example, maybe your friend taught you a great way to remember math equations for your next test. You might admire your friend and want to be like them. Maybe you got your friends excited about a book you are currently reading, and now they are reading it. Examples like this show how your peers can positively influence you.
There are influences from your peers that can affect you negatively. For example, maybe your friends in school make the decision to cut class and they want you to join them, or your friends may want you to try smoking or doing drugs.
Some reasons people give into peer pressure is to be liked, to fit in, or they are worried if they don’t give in then they will be made fun of by their peers. Others go along with the group to try new things, and have new experiences. The idea of “everybody is doing it” makes people want to go against their better judgment.
It can be hard for a person to be alone when saying “no” to peer pressure. Things can be easier when you think about your beliefs about what is right and wrong. Having strength and self-confidence can help you have the courage to stand up and walk away. It can help to have a friend with you who is willing to say “no.” Having friends with similar values who will back you up when you don’t want to do something will make saying “no” a lot easier.
If you are uncomfortable with somethings your friends are doing, it means that this situation is wrong for you.
Be friends with people who will stick by you in your decision making, and speak up for you. Having at least one person to stand by you makes saying “no” a lot easier.
If you are facing peer pressure and finding it hard to handle, try talking to someone you trust. Talking to a parent, teacher, school counsellor can help you feel much better and prepare you for the next time you may face peer pressure.
It’s not always easy to say “no” to peer pressure, but when you do, it makes you feel really good. You may even be a positive influence on peers who feel the same way. Often it takes one person to say “no” to make a change. Consider yourself a leader, and know that you have the power to make a difference.
Audre Lorde once said, “It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate these differences.”
We don’t have to be the same as everybody else. We shouldn’t have to fit into some sort of mole to look like and act like the people around us. This quote is saying that we are all different, but we do not accept these differences, and believe that being different is a problem. We should be proud of who we are, we are all individuals with different traits, and we should not be ashamed of this.
Audre Lorde was born on February 18, 1934. She went on to become a leading African-American poet and essayist who gave a voice to topics such as race, gender, and sexuality.
The term “individuality” is the quality or character of a particular person or thing that distinguishes them from others of the same kind, especially when strongly marked. Individuality allows life to have a diversity of experiences. If we were all born the same, for example, all born as singers, no one would be recording our songs. We need to realize that we are our own people.
To be your own person requires independence of thought, feeling, and action. This means that we can think, do, feel, and act without having to rely on others to give us direction. It is true that people may be so dependant on others that they feel that their lives are out of control. This is understandable. They may feel lost, manipulated, needy, and confused.
Some people may be easily intimidated by others. They can give into social pressures and think, act, and feel things that we should know better not to feel.
Some people may live vicariously thorough others instead of plotting your own independent life plan. The accomplishments of someone else seem like your own. Being proud of someone is a healthy response, but living through them is not a substitute for living through yourself.
Trying to become your own person may result in some stages of loneliness. Being alone is one of the hardest things a person can go through. A way to deal with loneliness is learning to be able to be independent. If you are able to be okay being alone, you are on the right track to being your own person.
Being your own person requires you to have a lot more self-confidence, and this requires you to be more accepting of yourself. Accepting yourself will help you with not worrying about what others think or say. Some people dedicate their lives to living their lives the way others would be pleased about it being lived. When you seek to please others you validate your own self-worth.
As a self-confident person, you will be more open to trying new things, and doing things the way you want to do it. You would be open to try some experiments and new life arrangements to see what works for you and what doesn’t.
Trying to branch out from the same customs and traditions you are used to can be a hard change to get through. Customs and traditions can be broken down into things like social routines or even your place of work. You may have gotten used to the social activities you engage in routinely, even thought they have been boring and unrewarding. Making and change in your life, making new friends, trying different activities will be a hard change, but will be rewarding in the end.
A friend is defined as someone whom one knows and with whom one has a bond. The better quality friendships you have, the more likely you are to be happy. Friends will come and go in life, but what makes a good friend is the actions they take – big and small – that show you they care. We go through life trying to find friends who will always be there for us, and comfort us when we need them.
1. They push us to be more accepting of ourselves
One big thing we have to deal with on a daily basis is our self-criticism. A true friend will lift us up when we are feeling down. When we think we won’t do well on a test or a job interview, friends are there to boost our self-esteem and encourage us.
2. They will not judge you
Friends are accepting of who we are, and the decisions we make.
3. They really listen
If you are having a bad day and need to vent out your feelings, your friend is there to listen to you, without any judgment, or turning the conversation back onto themselves. Friends don’t have to have the answers to your problems, but maybe all you need is someone to listen to you.
4. They support us through adversity
Real friends are there for us throughout all the peaks and valleys of our lives. They support us through happy, sad, frustrating times and everything in between.
5. They make you laugh
Having a friend who makes you laugh at times when you have feeling down is a sign of true friendship. They bring up your spirits and make you feel better even for a short time.
They can be about many different things. Insecurity is feeling uncertain or anxious about something. Insecurities are things we all have to deal with. It can also mean having a lack of confidence. We can have insecurities about everything. Me personally, I deal with insecurities everyday.
Our minds conjure up an image of what we think perfection is and what we should be, we associate happiness and success with this. Comparing this image of perfection with who we are currently, we can find holes and ‘flaws’ in who we are. This can cause us to criticize ourselves. We can have a low self-esteem and feel like we are not good enough.
Our critical inner voice can make its way into our friendships and romantic relationships. Relationships can stir up past experiences, good or bad. We can sometimes feel like our friends are pulling away, or you may think you are not good enough to be their friend. Some romantic relationships can summon insecurities that we have buried away and tried to forget about. We can feel desperate towards our partner or we can pull away from them, having a fear of intimacy. We can feel a sense of possessiveness towards them, fearing they will leave you.
Insecure thoughts that can go through our heads daily are:
You are ugly.
You will not be as pretty as her.
You are a failure.
You will never make friends.
You are fat.
We cannot let these negative thoughts rule our lives. Our insecurities and fears stop us from doing the things we want to do.
One way for us to challenge our insecurities is to challenge our negative thoughts. When we think, “You are alone,” we can have a counter thought that challenges this critic. We can think of all the people in our lives who care about us and love us. “I have a mother and a father, brother/sister who love me, I have friends who care about me.” We can think that we are all alone in this. We can think that we are the only people on the planet who feels insecure, unhappy, anxious. We need to remind ourselves that we are not alone! Everybody has insecurities that they deal with everyday.
A lot of insecurities have to do with body image. We may think we are too fat, and compare ourselves to the people around us, saying we will never get to be like them. We need to remind ourselves that we are all different, but we are all beautiful. We are different people with different likes and dislikes, why do we want to be like everyone else? We are all beautiful in our own way, and we need to keep reminding ourselves of this. We need to look into a mirror and say, “I am beautiful just the way I am.”